So much has happened in the past two and a half
months. I wish I had blogged more but finding time to get on the computer is
more challenging than I expected. With this post, I hope to get caught
up. It's really long. Sorry about that.
Enjoy...
Hanging with Trichlers:
Two of my favorite people were in town a couple weeks ago. David and Rachel were here for a wedding. Thankfully, David posted about how good it was to be in Utah on Facebook, which tipped me off on their whereabouts. We met up a Cafe Rio to catch up. They are such cool people - I loved hearing about their new house, their careers, and some of their other adventures. While we were there, who should walk in? None other than the infamous Matt Fischer, another DC favorite. Good times. :)
Solar Eclipse:
On the evening of May 20, there was
a solar eclipse here in Utah. Ben's dad got out the dark glass from his
welding mask so we could enjoy the rare event.
The last time I remember witnessing a solar eclipse was when I was in 5th
grade. My teacher poked holes in some paper and told us to hold it up to
the sun so that the light will shine through producing a pin hole image of the
sun. I didn't understand that I wasn't supposed to look through the pin
holes. I remember being frustrated because I couldn't tell if anything
was happening to the sun at all.
I'm glad I didn't miss it this
year. My favorite part about it was the way that everything felt dimmed -
the shadow of the mood made the brightness of the day lessen. When it
passed, the brightness came back.
Moving Grandma and Grandpa:
Ben's Grandma and Grandpa Durtschi
are wonderful people. Grandpa turned 90 last March and Grandma is a few
years younger than he is. Their lives are admirable and I wish I had
known them when they were younger. They've lived in the same house in
Boise, ID for over 60 years. Grandpa practiced law for 60 years and was a
judge for the state of Idaho for 20 of them. Grandma was a homemaker, but
she also taught piano lessons and she received her degree in business
administration from Idaho State.
For the past few years, Grandma's
cognitive health has deteriorated and has finally rendered them unable to take
care of themselves. When Grandma called the police and told them that
Grandpa was trying to kill her (false alarm), Ben's mom, Kathryn, and his Aunt
Susan decided it was finally time for them to move to Utah where the family
could take care of them. So after a couple weeks in a care center, they
moved into Ben's parent's house just days before we got here. This was a
temporary arrangement until a new condo, where they could receive assistance,
was ready for them to move into.
They need a lot of help. Grandma's
dementia has made her really confused about her whereabouts and the people
around her. This makes her really angry, which she mostly channels at
Grandpa.
Kathryn and Susan have worked with a
doctor and home nurse to figure out some medication to help Grandma calm
down. The meds have helped a lot, but watch out if they start to wear
off. The rest of us have spent hours and hours "visiting them,"
playing the piano for them, and going on walks with them. Grandma loves
seeing the baby. They've needed full time attention and it's been
exhausting.
Last Sunday, June 2, the condo was
finally ready and it was time to move Grandma and Grandpa to their own
place. This kind of thing is never easy. Grandpa had become
accustomed to being in the house where he had constant help with Grandma.
Grandma had been asking to go home to Boise on an hourly basis for the past six
weeks so the hope was that seeing her furniture and belongings in this place
would make her feel at home. The move has been challenging, but they are
being well taken care of and the rest of the family can relax a little.
While this has been a fairly
inconvenient situation, I can't help but feel grateful for it. I've been
able to get to know and love these grandparents in the late years of their
life. It's also given us the opportunity to serve in our own home on a
regular basis. That kind of service has had a unique way of strengthening
our family. The situation has also made us all think about getting old, getting
crazy, and hoping for the best in our later years.
Zach's Restaurant:
Earlier this year, my brother opened a restaurant in Payson, UT. Poor Boys BBQ and Dawgs. I'm really proud of him. The food is delicious and I can tell that he's put tons of hard work into it. We've eaten there several times and my favorite things are his pulled pork, polish dawgs, baked beans and the mac 'n cheese.
Time with Wendy:
After Zach's wedding, my sister Wendy stayed in Utah for a few extra days to spend more time with me. I loved every second of it! She and I are best friends and I especially enjoy it when we get together. We both stayed with our babies at our Grandpa Voorhees' house in Sandy since neither of us have a place to accommodate a visitor here in Utah. It was so fun to stay there - my grandpa is an incredible man and I appreciate every chance I get to be with him.
I LOVED spending that time with Wendy and her sweet baby Genevieve. She helped me brave getting out with a one month old, and we went to Thanksgiving Point and explored like kids. We also went to the splash pad at the Gateway mall.
Clark's Baby Blessing:
On May 13, Ben had the opportunity to give Clark a Priesthood blessing and have his name added to the records of the Church. Clark didn't love the experience. He cried the whole time. No, he wailed the whole way through. Ben said that it was rather disconcerting trying to feel the Spirit and say nice things while holding an angry baby. It was a beautiful blessing, nonetheless, and I was grateful for all the family and friends who were there to support us.
My Brother's Wedding:
This has been a big year for Zach. Not only did he open his own restaurant, but he also found the woman of his dreams, Libby Coleman, and married her on May 12.
The wedding was magical! The setting, the flowers, the decorations, the cake and the cakes, and best of all the gathering of family was perfect. I marked it as one of the happiest days of my life - my whole family in one place... that just doesn't happen often.
I love Libby. She is perfect for my brother. I am grateful that they found each other and am grateful to have her and her sweet boy, Hayden, as part of our family.
Moving:
One of the big advantages of Ben being in the software business is that he can work from anywhere. For the last year, he's worked from home, which means that we get to spend a lot more time together than I imagine we would if he worked at a law firm or for another company. Having him around has been especially nice since Clark came. (I can't believe how many times I've said, 'honey, can you do one more favor for me?' I found myself incapable of doing much when my arms were occupied with a baby almost 24/7.)
Anyway, when we moved into our last apartment, we signed a lease for only 7 months, which would put us there until one month after Clark was born. Then we would move to Lake Shore, UT for the summer where we could live with Ben's parents and be close to family.
I hate moving. Packing up our apartment with a one month old baby was no fun. Luckily, we didn't really settle in much and most of our stuff was still in boxes in the garage. And we had a lot of help - Ben's brother came and my Aunt Pam was a saint. She held Clark for hours so I could pack and she cleaned our kitchen.
Clark was a trooper. He slept in my Moby Wrap for hours while I packed, and when it came time to get in the car and go, he slept almost the entire drive (8 hours). He only woke up to eat and get a diaper change a couple times. I was proud of him!
It's been so good to be here in Lake Shore (south end of Utah Lake near Spanish Fork). Ben's parent's are great and have been so accommodating to us. And it's been fun to be around for family events and to catch up with old friends.
Ben loves Utah and I can understand why. He grew up on a ranch and it's beautiful here. And he loves all the outdoor recreation opportunities - they have horses, boats for running rivers, gear for camping and climbing and access to all the great places that Utah offers. Also, his family is here and some of my family is too. It's all around a great place to be. We would love to live here for longer than just the summer. But Nutrislice will be in the Denver area so we're headed back there at the end of the summer.
Time with Wendy U:
A few weeks after Clark was born, a delightful visitor came to our home. Wendy U was in Denver for a conference and we were so lucky to have her spend a night with us. We had to give her a little taste of the Colorado outdoors (and we needed to get out of the house) so we hiked Devil's Head trail. It's a beautiful hike that leads up to a National Park Service fire lookout.
I was a little unsure how it would be to have a visitor just three weeks after Clark arrived, but I think that I needed it more than anything. It was refreshing to spend time with one of my best girlfriends. Having a baby was such a life changing event for me that it just felt good to be with someone who has known me for a long time. Thanks for making the visit, Wendy!
Baba's Visit:
My mom, aka Baba to her grandkids,
came to the rescue with perfect timing. It was so nice to have her help
during our first days at home with Clark. She did all the things that
moms are supposed to do when they help daughters with their new baby. She
organized all of Clark's things (I did a terrible job with nesting), she did a
Target run for us, bought groceries, cleaned our apartment, cooked every meal,
and she even took a night shift with Clark so that we could get some
sleep. Wow! I miss having her around.
|
I
can't believe I didn't get a better photo of Grandma with Clark.
|
Our Birth Story:
Clark arrived at 12:50 pm on April
10, 2012. His due date was April 8. On April 9 - sometime around noon, I
noticed that I was leaking. Maybe my water broke? I've never had a
baby before, so I couldn't be so sure. I was scheduled for a regular
check up with my doctor at 1:30. Because of the leaking, we took our bags
for the hospital (which had been packed and repacked several times for the past
three weeks) to the appointment. Good thing, because we ended up checking
into the hospital shortly after the doctor confirmed that my water was indeed
broken. I had planned to have an un-medicated birth and prepared for it
with Hypnobabies hypnosis techniques, but the small rupture of the amniotic sac
that didn't cause labor to start sort of threw a wrench in things.
The first several hours in the
hospital were quite uneventful. The nurse started me on antibiotics (I
had tested positive for group B strep) and we waited for contractions to
start. We probably walked 2 miles in the hospital hallways trying to get
things started. When my nurse's shift was about to be over (7pm), she
wanted to start Pitocin to get things going. I was devastated. I wanted
things to start on their own and just felt that the few hours we were there
wasn't enough of a chance to let that happen. Luckily, my next nurse was
much more on board with my plans to go naturally. She actually broke my
water completely so the big gush would finally happen and would hopefully cause
my labor to start. It didn't. She let me walk the halls (and eat a
little - I was STARVING) for a few more hours. Finally I let her start
Pitocin. She did just a low dose - hoping to help labor to start.
At this point, I was starting to
have contractions, but they were very inconsistent. They'd start for 15
minutes then stop. Start them stop. They even got bigger, but
they'd start and stop. Apparently, this was happening because my baby
wasn't in the right position so he wasn't putting pressure on my cervix.
Every time they checked, I was only dilated at a 2. Let me tell you, that
was such a bummer - I wanted progress so that they could stop the Pitocin and I
could get back to my original plans. Instead, the nurse increased the
Pitocin and gave me more antibiotics.
Ben was amazing. He walked the
halls with me for hours. He cued me in on my hypnosis techniques.
He supported me every step of the way.
Finally, at 5:30 in the morning, the
nurse said it was time to really increase the Pitocin. She was starting
to feel pressure because hospitals want babies to come within 24 hours of the
water breaking to reduce risk of infection. I was so tired. Tired
of hearing that I was still at a three. Tired of feeling pretty
significant contractions that would start and then stop. And not sure
that I could handle more Pitocin induced contractions with hypnosis. At
this point, Ben and I prayed about it and decided it was time to take a
different route.
I got an epidural. I'll be
honest, it was awesome. I was so relieved. However, it didn't take
long for me to realize that something wasn't right. It only worked on my
right side and I was feeling contractions in half of my body. It was very
strange. The anesthesiologist tried a couple things and finally, at 8:30
am he decided to start over. So I got two epidurals.
I started to find it very funny that
not only had my plans not worked, but I ended up in the hospital way too early,
had to have two IVs, two epidurals, and seven drip bags of antibiotics. I
was scared that I would have to have a c-section the way things were
going. Ben and I prayed that I wouldn't have to go that route.
Luckily by 10:30 Clark moved into
the right position - facing down and back. I dilated more and was up to
an eight. We were finally progressing.
The nurse had me start pushing at
12:15 and then she had me stop at 12:30 so that the doctor could get
there. My doctor showed up and asked if there was time to change his
clothes. There really wasn't, but there was so he was gone and back in a
about 10 minutes. I started pushing again and within minutes our baby was
here!!
As soon as he was out, the doctor
put him right in my arms! He was wiggly, pink, and wet, and had a full head of
dark hair. I'll never forget that feeling. My baby, whom had grown
in me for the last nine months was finally in my arms against my chest.
He felt warm. He didn't cry. I kept telling him he was beautiful
and thanking the doctor and all the staff.
Oh the rush... and the love!!
It was the highest feeling of my life. It was like my heart was beating
outside of my body now, and it was the best feeling in the world!
Clark Isaac Roberts arrived at 12:50
pm on April 10, 2012. He weighed 7 lbs 6 oz and was 19.75 inches
tall.
On Due Dates:
I know that due dates are mostly
guess work. My doctor explained that they are averages - 50% of women
have their baby before then and 50% don't. The anticipation that I felt
in the last three weeks of pregnancy killed me! At 37 weeks, they say the
baby can come and it won't be considered a preemie. Once I got that far,
Clark was welcome anytime and everyone around me knew it. I couldn't send
an email, set up a meeting, or do anything without the caveat that my baby
might come. My due date was a Sunday. I secretly hoped that I could
skip church to avoid all the "you're still pregnant" conversations.
The day came and went, and yes, I went to church.
What Pregnancy Taught Me:
I learned a few things in
pregnancy. Some lessons I already knew, but they're the kind that I seem
to get to learn over and over again.
Pregnancy is a case study in patience.
Nine months sounds like forever and there are a lot of mile stones to
reach. It simply taught me that patience is more than waiting patiently
in a checkout line. It's time consuming and requires endurance.
Pregnancy and child birth also gave
me first hand experience in the principle of submission. I had
plans. I wanted everything to go a certain way. But when it comes
down to it, there's only so much I could do to make things happen how I wanted
them to happen. Additionally, my body changed constantly. I had to
submit to needing tons more sleep, not being able to get around as easily, and
watching my belly grow, which is actually kinda fun. I thought a lot
about the Savior and his ultimate act of submission to Atone for our
sins. Not that what I was experiencing could even compare, but it made me
realize how complete his willingness to submit to the will of the Father
was. I imagine that it wasn't easy to do. Submitting is hard.
I am so grateful to Him for what he did for us.
On Baby Showers and Gifts:
I am so amazed at how generous and
kind people have been to us. Four showers were thrown for me. Each
in different aspects of my life. We had a shower with Ben's family and a few
friends in Utah. One at work with all of my "moms" - there were
five women that worked in the same area as me whom were around my mom's age and
talked to me about being pregnant and birth on a daily basis - they became
wonderful friends to me. My visiting teachers and the primary presidency (I
was the primary pianist for a few months) in the Castle Pines Ward threw me a
lovely shower, and delightfully, my friend Staci organized a Skype date shower
with several of my dear friends from DC.
I am overwhelmed by the generosity,
kindness and thoughtfulness that people have shown me. We were given
wonderful gifts that include enough baby clothes for a year, diapers and wipes
to get us through the first month, a fabulous video baby monitor, baby supplies
like gas relief medicine and Decetin, beautiful baby blankets - a couple that
were handmade and will be cherished forever, books and toys, and practical gift
cards that have helped us buy other things we've needed. I love the Moby
baby wrap that I was given and the Itzbeen that helps me keep track of when I
fed and changed my baby and how long he's been sleeping.
Early in my pregnancy, I worried
about having a baby shower. Since living in Colorado, I've met a lot of
people, but have made only a handful of close friends. And I haven't been
the best at nourishing my friendships. I also felt like I was too transient and
didn't have plans to stay where we were long enough to justify people throwing me a party and giving me gifts. But I've realized that for many people, gift giving is from the heart and those things don't matter. Also, this has made me excited about paying it forward when I have opportunities to give.
