SO SO sad!!

4-25-08

I can't believe it's already the end of April. Today is the last day of term 1 and my last day at the school. My heart is SO sad. I realized that after my first month of being here, I dove in head first. I forgot about myself and my life and focused entirely on gleaning as much out of and giving as much to Uganda as I possibly could. In doing so, I've experienced what seems like a year's worth of discovery, growth, and fulfillment in just a few months. I'm practically Ugandan these days! (Ha! Not really - I'm coming to realize that I don't know anything about this country yet.) I lived it as fully as I could - I'm even dreaming in Uganda - in doing so I developed friendships, bonds, and a love for this country that I never imagined would be so hard to leave.

I cried last week when I said goodbye to some friends at the health center for the last time. After that rush of emotion, I thought I got it over with and leaving the school wouldn't be so bad. I was flat out wrong. This morning as I made my final trek up the hill to the school, tears came - just before I reach the school there is a small gathering of homes where about a dozen little ones race to greet me every day. They often are snot-nosed and dirty, but I can't help shaking their hands, giving high fives, and picking one or two up in my arms. Today was my last time for this daily treat.

How can I leave? I just don't know how to do it and it breaks my heart. Seeing these faces and hearing, "Mzungu, how are you," from the distance has brought me more joy than I can explain.

I keep telling the students that I want to put all of them in my pocket and take them home. I offered to pack them in my suit case, but they said they might die if we did that. They're probably right! They are sad too. They call me Teacher Jolly. Mostly because it's hard to say Charlee and also because they think I'm happy. I received a note from one that opened with, "Dear Teacher Jolly (Charlee)". I love that! But today I heard over and over again, in combination with tight squeezes, "Teacher Jolly, don't go. Please, come back. Please don't forget me."

I sat with the p6 class on the grass for a long time. They are so smart. I asked them to ask me questions. An hour and a half later we had discussed everything from what the weather is like in US to Obama vs. Hillary.

The hardest part of the day was saying goodbye at the assembly. Of course, we were running on African standard time (about 2 hours later than scheduled). My driver was already waiting to take me to Kampala. And any sort of assembly/ceremony in this country is a huge ordeal usually consisting of 'brief' (i.e 20 minutes minimum) impromptu speeches or remarks from everyone in authority or even present. Finally, I insisted that I had to go. Little did I know, but the students prepared special songs and dances for me and the teachers and Thomas, our headteacher, had a plaque to give me. I was so emotional. Even the LC5 (top local councilman) gave remarks of gratitude to me for my service. Now, that, I admit, was kind of weird considering that I never really met him, but the formality was special. Finally I had a moment to address the school. I just started to cry. Dahh!!!! Crying isn't very common in Uganda so I had 600 kids not knowing what to do.

I was so sad. It's so hard to leave these friends who I have done so much for and who have done equally as much for me. I hope I can come back. One day, I will come back.